You’re Doing It Wrong

Ahh another year, another Hallmark Card Holiday! I’ll admit that Valentine’s Day is higher above other fake holidays, such as Sweetest Day, or Easter, but most people are just missing the point. Valentine’s Day isn’t about pushing chocolates and flowers around; it’s about the hilarious pranks you should be doing. Read More >>

Am I the only one who likes to use the restroom in peace? The concept of having a conversation whilst pissing is just weird to me. You’re standing there, with your doodle in your hand, talking about your kid’s soccer game last night? That doesn’t seem gross to anyone else? We might as well kick […] Read More >>

Everybody has experienced this situation at some point in time; hell, you may have done it yourself and not even realized that you were crossing the street wrong. I know what you’re saying; how can someone cross the street wrong? Well in the words of the great John Hammond, “I’ll show you”. Read More >>

This post is going to make me sound like an old man sitting on his front porch yelling at skateboarders who are rolling by him because they’re going “too fast” on “my street”. Good! That’s what I’m going for in this edition of “You’re Doing It Wrong”. Read More >>

Well you have finally worked up the courage to ask your crush out. And as nervous as you are, you couldn’t be more excited about spending the evening with them. But this anxious feeling and your lack of experience could lead to disaster. So lets take this moment to educate yourself on the proper manner […] Read More >>

You’re Doing it Wrong: Flying

by Pat B on April 21, 2011

  The world seems easily conquered now that flying has become a part of life. When you can start your day in one country and by lunch be in a new one, well that’s just a testament to how far we have come as humans. But the flight itself, has shown how primitive we are. […] Read More >>

The day you feared the most has finally come. And no, I’m not talking about walking in on your parents banging it out. This is it. Zombie apocalypse. End of days type shit. Where survival is all you need to worry about anymore. And this may cause a lot of confusion. Because not everyone can […] Read More >>

I was thinking about it recently, and I am the LAST person who could ever give relationship advice. If you are looking to self-destruct a relationship, well maybe i could lend a tip….or ten. But most normal people just go the route of a “break up”, where as people not right in the head (me) try […] Read More >>

There is no greater (or more annoying) road to drive on than the tollway. Out of everyone I know (except for my old man) there is no one that drives on it more than me. I put a minimum of 100 miles a day on it, and for the last 2 years that’s been 7 […] Read More >>

When asked to help contribute to Planet Arbitrary, I couldn’t have been more excited. But, by no means am I a writer. Or am I’m going to sit here and tell you that I know everything….that should already be assumed. I have spent most of my adult life watching and observing the people that surround me […] Read More >>