Nerd School: “Obama Trek or How Cult Sci-fi Helped Win the Presidency”

by Joe on June 13, 2011

With Anthony Wiener still being in the news, I think it’s important to look back on how my favorite franchise gave rise to the term “Sexless sex scandal”

The secret connection between Trek and our 44th president is a fantastic world of sex, intrigue, and celebrity. It’s bizarre that the reason our current president was able to maneuver into the position to get elected was because of  Star Trek: Voyager.

Flashback to Illinois in 2004. It was an insane year for politics. People were taking to the streets in protest. The elections were essentially a referendum on Iraq and Afghanistan.

They literally marched on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago

The Democrats were pushing John Kerry on the national level, and every  state was a battlefield. In the simple midwestern state of Illinois, a senate seat had opened up when Republican incumbent Peter Fitzgerald chose not to run again after upsetting the state GOP. This led to an open  Senate seat in a state known for hard fought battles between the two parties.

We know the Demcrats ran future president and then state senator Barack Obama, but Republicans picked the more interesting candidate.

Jack Ryan was a Republican darling. Young, handsome, well-educated  he was a proponent of across-the-board tax cuts, he supported tort reform, medical malpractice reform, and he supported school choice. In fact his only real competition was against Jim Oberweis, who makes delicious Ice Cream.

However, little did the GOP realize that Ryan had a dark secret. From 1991-1999, Ryan was married to actress Jeri Ryan who from 1997-2001 played Seven of Nine on Star Trek: Voyager. The couple divorced in 1999 and had the court seal the record.

During Ryan’s primary run the Chicago Tribune and WLS-TV, tried to get the record released. Eventually after he won the primary, many of Ryan’s supporters urged him to release the records.

What came out was as bizarre as the fact that Voyager ran for seven seasons

click to embiggen

 

The funny thing is that it wasn’t Obama’s people who decried Ryan’s actions, it was his own party who basically forced him to step down. His own party was ashamed that the man wanted to have sex with his own wife. Weird strip club sex, but weird strip club sex with his own wife.

This led the Republican’s to run Alan Keyes in the now vacated Republican nomination. Of course this was an utter disaster and Obama went from a 48-40% lead to a 70-27% ass whooping victory.

but is that it? is that the only Star Trek connection? Not exactly. There is still the motive for the divorce.

Ya see, Jeri Ryan, at the time of the divorce, was a big deal in Star Trek land, and was commuting back and forth between Los Angeles and Chicago.  In fact after her marriage ended she even dated Brannon Braga.

So because Star Trek led to the divorce, which eventually led to Jack and Jeri sealing the divorce papers, which eventually led to Jack dropping out and giving Obama not only a victory, but such a huge victory that it catapulted him into the limelight that eventually pushed him to run for president.

But I think what is weirdest about this whole ordeal is that It was Voyager that won the presidency. Not even a good spinoff like DS9.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Anthony June 13, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Wow.

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Kevin June 14, 2011 at 6:52 am

This isn’t the article I thought it would be. Don’t you have another Star Trek/politics theory that goes back further and involves the space race? We talked about it at B Lodge which explains why I don’t remember it.

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Joe June 14, 2011 at 7:49 am

I have lots of theories, it’s probably in there somewhere

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