Nerd School: By The Hammer Of Thor! Thor Primer

by Joe on April 19, 2011

Remember when Captain Kirk’s dad piloted the USS Kelvin into Bruce Banner’s Spaceship? No, then that reference was wasted on you. Anywho, George Kirk is gonna be kicking some Asgard (see what I did there) in 2 weeks as THOR, so I thought I ‘d get you excited with a bit of a Thor primer.

NERD POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!

What’s the deal?

Thor started out as a Stan Lee/Jack Kirby joint in 1962.

ladies...

According to Lee’s autobiography, Thor’s genesis was based out of needing someone stronger than the Hulk

“”[H]ow do you make someone stronger than the strongest person? It finally came to me: Don’t make him human — make him a god. I decided readers were already pretty familiar with the Greek and Roman gods. It might be fun to delve into the old Norse legends… Besides, I pictured Norse gods looking like Vikings of old, with the flowing beards, horned helmets, and battle clubs.  …Journey into Mystery needed a shot in the arm, so I picked Thor … to headline the book. After writing an outline depicting the story and the characters I had in mind, I asked my brother, Larry, to write the script because I didn’t have time. …and it was only natural for me to assign the penciling to Jack Kirby…”

Kirby here is important because a lot of the movies design is stolen directly from early Kirby work.

Anyway, Thor’s background states that Odin gets pissed at Thor for being Thor, and kicks him out to Earth in the body of Donald Blake, a crippled doctor with no memories of being a god. One day while hiking in the mountains, Blake sees some aliens (like you did in the 60’s) so he goes and hides in a cave and finds Thor’s hammer (and by hammer I mean…oh forget it) disguised as a walking stick. Now whenever Blake hits the stick against a wall he turns into…THOR!

seriously he hits the stick and becomes Thor

Jesus Christ, that’s probably the most ridiculous origin story ever.

But that really doesn’t matter, cause in the new movie I’m 99% sure they’re doing away with the whole Donald Blake back story.

The movie seems to have the back story more attuned to Ultimate Thor with the design element of  Olivier Coipel’s run as artist  in 2007. It should be noted that Coipel’s art direction in the series was heavily influenced by the original Jack Kirby designs.

Unnecessary lines means its a Kirby design

The basics

Real Thor- Red headed deity of thunder, has a small hammer that grows when you rub it (seriously)

Marvel Thor- The star of our movie. One thing that’s important to remember is that Thor isn’t really a god, he’s an alien. I really truly believe this movie is the Marvel movie for the ladies. I’m personally still recovering from the My wife/Chris Pine affair of 2009.


Seriously, I'm a little turned on...

Black Thor-

 

Asgard-Thor’s crib, pronounced Ass-guard (now the joke from earlier makes sense!)

Odin-Thor’s pappy played by Hannibal.

I know it's a different Hannibal, but I love it when a plan comes together

Mjollner- Thor’s penis, and by penis I mean hammer, and by hammer I mean penis.

Loki- Thor’s half-brother, often the focus of slash fiction

hello sailor!

Jane Foster- In the comics, she’s Thor’s love interest/nurse that assists Dr. Donald Blake. In the movie she’s played by the girl who tries to masturbate until she goes crazy.

Sweet Jesus!

 

Do you need to read any of the comics?

Probably not. Marvel has done a pretty bang up job as of late with their movie division.

The plot of the movie seems to be boiled down to Thor being a dick and getting kicked out of Norse heaven. Odin then throws Thor’s penis  (I mean hammer) down (seen at the end of Iron Man 2). So now Thor has to become worthy enough to lift the hammer. Loki is the big bad. Thor’s gonna fall in love with Queen Amidala. He’s gonna save the world and be asked to join the Avengers.

Thor comes out May 6th


That and there’ll probably be a Cap’n ‘Merica cameo.

Get Schooled: Game of Thrones/Winter is Coming, Doctor Who Season 6 Primer, and Game of Thrones Primer

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Pat B April 20, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Nice black swan reference! definitely a lol moment

Reply

Chris April 21, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Love the picture of Hannibal.

Reply

Nic April 26, 2011 at 2:25 pm

i miss Blor

Reply

Joe April 26, 2011 at 2:27 pm

who doesn’t, btw I love that he pops up when i google black thor

Reply

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